Approaching women is the first step of any interaction and relationship with a girl you don’t know.
Whether it is in a bar, club, or during the day – you need to know how to approach and how to start a conversation with a girl.
Like many issues in the social dynamics between men and women – there is no one single answer to the question “how to approach a girl”.
In fact, there are many ways to approach women. Many of them might be successful, and yet, there will never be 100% success – so you must be ready for failure and rejection sometimes. Remember – it’s just a part of the game.
In this post we will discuss several common and “working” ways to approach any girl that you like, in any place.
This post is about approaching, but first there are a few issues you need to understand. The first one is that there is nothing “wrong” with approaching and picking up women.
Many men have this belief, that by approaching women they are doing something wrong, or that it is impolite to pick up women that you don’t know.
But there is nothing more far from the truth than this. Our world is built on the idea that men need to approach women. How can women and men mate otherwise?
Women expect you to approach and they are also used to being approached by men. A girl might not like the way you approach, or not be in the mood at the moment – but it’s perfectly OK, and it’s your right and even duty to approach girls.
So as you understand the idea that it’s OK to approach, probably the most important thing when you approach women is to be confident around women.
From my personal experience, the chances of women to behave bitchy or to reject you drop to almost 0% when you have and feel confidence.
Another issue that is related to confidence is body language. There are many aspects of body language that you can use to succeed with women, but right now I want you to start with the basics – stand straight, don’t lean towards the girl you approach. Show your confidence also via your body language.
So now, as you are ready, I would like to show you several successful way to start a conversation with women.
In an opinion opener, you will approach a girl (or a group) and ask her for her opinion on something.
I use it in my specific way, but feel free to change it. I say either “Excuse me, I need your female opinion on something…”, or “my friend and I, we have an argument, and I need your opinion about it…”, and then you add the topic of your question.
Here are some examples: “Girls, if an attractive guy would go on a date with you, and then he would wait a few days before calling, what do you think about it?”, or “On a first date, does the man have to pay for the girl?”.
After asking the question, add the reason why you ask it. For example: “I am asking this because my friend was on a date yesterday, and he didn’t pay for the girl”.
Opinion openers are great because they don’t show direct interest in the girl, and they create an excuse for you to talk about an interesting topic. My favorite topic is about relationships and dating – because women love it and always will have their opinion about it.
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A situation opener is a more “natural” way to start a conversation with a girl. When you use an opinion opener, your opener comes “out of the blue”, it has nothing to do with the situation. Opinion openers work and are a great way to approach women, but for some men, they will sound too “artificial”.
When you approach a girl, she is usually in a specific situation. She can be walking around the mall looking at clothes and shoes, or perhaps she is sitting with a friend in the cafe.
Here are some examples:
Let’s say the girl is standing and looking at the window of a jewellery store. You can tell her: “You should find a rich husband if you want to buy all these staff”, or “I don’t think the jewellery here fits you. I think your style is slightly different, you should go to the place over there…”
Do you see what happens here? You enter the world she is in right now, and through this world you start a conversation with her.
Let’s see another example: You are in a night club and you see a girl who seems a bit lost and looking for somebody (probably her friend). You can say: “I see that you are looking for cute guys. The truth is that there are not many cute guys here, most of them are in the other side of the club”. You don’t have to really relate to what she was thinking, it’s just that you got into her situation.
You can also make it funny. For example, always when I see a girl alone in a bar, I approach her and ask “Your date did show up, right?”, even if it isn’t the situation, it is a great way to begin a conversation.
A situational opener will always sound spontaneous and natural, as if it just popped out of your head, and that’s why it will never sound like a pickup line.
In this kind opener, you don’t even need to ask her a question. It can be simply a comment that you say.
Cold Reading Opener
Cold Reading is a technique to show that you know something about people, without knowing anything about them. A cold reading opener is done by approaching a woman and telling her something about herself, her character or personality.
Women love to hear such things about themselves, and if you do it right, the girl will be very curious and interested.
In cold reading, you can totally guess, or use something that you see about the girl that brings to a certain conclusion.
Here are several examples of cold reading openers:
“By the way you are standing, I can see that you are one of those girls who date men who are jerks and don’t want anything serious, although what you are really looking for is a serious relationship.” – This is true almost about every girl.
“I can see by your facial expressions, that what leads you in relationships is your feelings. If you meet a guy and feel attracted to him, you will date him even if you know he is not good for you. Your feelings are stronger than logic when it comes to love..” – Again, this is true about every woman
“Women who wear red clothes, sometimes leave their logic behind and can do really crazy stuff.”
“I can see by the rings you wear, that you are a woman of contrasts. One day you can go to a noisy club, and on the other day you can stay home and just read some nice book”.
To you, these openers might sound like bullshit. But women tend to connect to such things – it’s very close to astrology.
How To Approach A Girl – Summary
In this post, we’ve seen 3 common methods to approach women anywhere. Of course, there are many other techniques and methods, but the ways I showed you in this post, are enough for you to go out and try.
Eventually, you will need to choose what works best for you.
Although I gave you 3 examples of openers that are considered as indirect, it doesn’t mean that you can approach women direct.
However, direct approach demand a very strong and masculine body language, and that’s why when men just begin to develop their pickup skills, it’s recommended to begin with indirect openers first.